Lessons In Lady-Like
Never be the first to laugh at a dirty joke. While everyone else is still scratching their heads and muttering, “Watermelons? Cheerios? I don’t get it,” you should not be rolling on the floor guffawing with glee.
Do not emasculate your husband/significant other in public. Just because you had to kill the big scary bug, it does not make him a wussy-boy. Ok, well, it does, but you don’t have to broadcast it to everyone else.
Farting and belching are best left to the disgusting-er sex. Even though the best burpers I’ve ever met have been girls, it’s really kind of gross and therefore only men should do it. They’re kind of gross anyway.
Swearing is rude, crude, and inappropriate. Don’t do it, damn it.
Do not make your unsavory opinions known to everyone around you. Especially if those opinions include things like: babies are leaky, kids throw up too much, and Sylvester Stallone is the best actor EVER.
Order salads at dinner. I don’t know why. It just seems like you should.
Never, under any circumstances, insinuate that you are, perhaps, smarter than your male counterparts. They don’t like that.
Do not write cheeky blogs about how to be lady-like when you are obviously so not. I would never do such a thing.
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LOL, Sonja. I agree with you about the belching, women do it so much better